Breaking up with Expectations Part 2

Updated: Apr 22

I realized that Sex was an expectation I had of my partner. Not that it needed to be good sex, or consistent sex, more that it needed to be valued and spoken about in a similar way.

How coming to terms with the importance of love and sexuality changed my life.

I’ve always known that sex and sexuality were a large part of my life I’ve always known that they were an important part of any romantic relationship but also my relationship with myself.

Sex magic is an amazing podcast that has been so empowering, interesting and exciting.

I am so passionate about sex, it’s a beautiful, spiritual, sacred practice and who you meet in that space is really going to impact every other area of your life.

In 2018 I learned about myself as I explored a relationship where sex was not a main priority for both parties and that itself, the abstinence, was a spiritual experience because you can begin to truly understand how you feel about yourself, how you feel about your body. What is sex to you? Do you use it to bring yourself closer to someone? Do you use it to numb? Do you use it as a form of self expression?

I really was pushed to self discovery and I learned that sex for me was a tool of self discovery, spirituality, and connection. I express my love, and myself through sexual pleasure of myself and of others. Going to get a lil astrology nerd on you, as a moon Leo I want lots of love and affection, and can feel slighted when I feel that I am not receiving that.

I’m no longer ashamed to say that a sexual relationship needs to be strong for the other areas of a romantic relationship to also be strong. That's not to say that I won't experience real love and connection without sexual connection. Simply that through sexual connection that love will flourish even more. Also I want to mention that sexual connection does not always need to be physical, it also includes the act of exploring ideas around sex and beliefs.

As someone who has experienced sexual abuse it was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I really appreciate sex, and value its influence in my life. I somehow thought that for that reason (that I love sex) it was my fault that multiple men in my life didn’t respect my boundaries.

What I want you to understand is that sex and the experience whether with another person or on your own is one of extreme, deep self discovery and to keep the sacredness around it so precious that your mind, body and spirit feel full when you partake in the physical act.

If someone attempts to make you feel like sex, the exploration of sex or the enjoyment is not a healthy experience; First of all maybe they aren't there yet and you can help them debunk some toxic thoughts, and second let that be a trigger to uncover where your shame lies and why you think that sex is not a sacred, beautiful experience to be shared.

I call you to learn a bit more about something sexual today. Or hey, take this quiz, I always find it fun.

Namaste my loves,


#sex #sexuality #selfawareness #expectations

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