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Crippled


So I’m sitting here on the plane on my way to LA listening to evolve your brain by Joe Dispenza, for those of you who have read or listened to this book you know he very descriptively recounts the story of his spinal injury. He goes on to heal that injury through thought and careful action. But what just got to me about what he’s says is when he speaks about emotional addictions. For those of you who have read my story or my posts you know that I have scoliosis, you know that I was recommended surgery when I was 16 and refused for similar reasons, that I didn’t want to lose my mobility. I love to dance. I love to do yoga and the idea of being straight for the rest of my life was torturous. Lol irony

What I realized though is that I am addicted, crippled even by this addiction to the story that I am telling myself which is what I witnessed from my parents. I love my parents but what I see is one who is physically pained frequently by spinal issues and the other who is emotionally stunted and unable to fully express the wide range of human emotions. Neither are capable or willing to dramatically change their lives for their healing.

I have been crippled.

Crippled by the fear of potentially needing to rely on someone, being paralyzed or even worse suffering in pain for the rest of my life. I find it ironic that I live crippled by fear of being physically crippled.

But you know what people experience miracles they experience spontaneous healing. They grow into health. They drastically change their lives and don’t recognize who they were before.

My grandmother also had scoliosis and she lived her whole life ballroom dancing, I hope I can be so lucky. I just need to start dancing.

Namaste,

Marisa


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