"Passing"

Updated: Apr 22


I know it's now the end of July, but June is pride, it has always been a really special time for me. I am a lover of all things spirit and this might sound funny but it was a celebration I felt like I was allowed to be a part of, but only a bit. To get dressed up however you want, to spread love to strangers, to dance in the streets. However, I have loved it from a far. Being queer has been "easy" for me... being bisexual has made being queer easy mostly because I decided to ignore half of who I am for so long... I simply could pretend... my parents didn't need to know, I only recently told any of my friends.

I remember in 6th grade I had a crush on this girl and people called me a lesbian. Like it was a bad thing.

I remember when I was in 7th grade and my "boyfriend" told me he was bisexual and I was angry, but mostly just because I was jealous he felt safe enough to admit it.

I remember when I was in 8th grade, and a few friends and I were having a sleep over, my dad afterwards had a bit of a hissy fit because he found out there were boys there. I remember not understanding at all why that would matter.

I remember when I was in 9th grade and my boyfriend was okay, happy even, with me making out with another girl, cheating on him, because it was "hot" despite my apologies and guilt.

I remember not knowing how to form strong friendships because my dad always said boys only wanted one thing, and in my mind if I like boys and girls then I shouldn't have any friends because I don't want to send the wrong message.

I think the most frustrating of it all is the idea that you even need to come out... I saw this video somewhere I can't remember now but it was a skit about straight people coming out, I remember laughing so hard... I like women and men... so what. That does not mean I cannot have friends, it doesn't mean I am confused, it doesn't mean one day I'll eventually find mr. right, and it's not a phase.

So yes I have had a boyfriend. I have had a girlfriend.

When you ask someone about their love life don't assume anything. You might just be the person they open up to if you phrase your question openly.

Not really sure if that's on the topic of straight passing but it's something I have just learned because they dont actually teach you this stuff in school haha imagine sex ed actually taught you anything about your future sex life.

#sorrymom

p.s the #sorrymom is mostly for dramatic effect, I'm sure my parents are both quite supportive... how do we as children learn to hide parts of ourselves, I'm a little shocked to be honest that they aren't aware I am attracted to women, I'm not slick.


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