Personal Responsibility

We need to stop assuming responsibility for someone else's experience. Every single person is their own keeper. I recently had a conversation with someone and upon my mentioning of my partner they immediately decided they no longer wanted to have the conversation. I was a bit taken aback because to me we were having a conversation that was liberating, for me talking about shame, sexuality and normalizing conversations about sex. Talking about sex for me is not a sexual act (can be one of defiance) it is simply a conversation about one human experience. Now I can understand why you might not talk about certain things with certain people, because they do not understand your point of view or they believe the conversation to mean something deeper than a sharing of perspectives.

What I wanted to bring up was that there was a sense of responsibility this person had to censor themselves based on their understanding of a term, or expectation of what that might happen to mean for me. I want people to start asking for what they want, or expressing what they want to, and allowing the people they are interacting with to make their own decisions.

Yes you will come across people who are not comfortable with having conversations with you about certain things but I want you to be able to be honest and open with people. And then respect peoples boundaries. If they don't want to talk to you about something allow them to be responsible for themselves and say I don't want to talk about that. Rather than assuming everyone has the same boundaries, or the boundaries typically placed on anyone in our society, ask.

For gods sake please don't make the decisions for someone else because you think you are protecting them, you are not, you are protecting yourself from rejection, and you are(if male & maybe even if not) perpetuating the patriarchy. You are protecting yourself. Just learn how to communicate your fears, learn to witness your fear. Interacting with other people can be scary when you begin to learn your own boundaries. Sometimes you might cross one and realize that is one you don't want to cross in the future. This is the beginning of knowing thyself.

Today I recommend you listen to Men Need Sexual Liberation Too on The Sexually Liberated Woman Podcast. Ev'Yan Whitney is doing amazing things and this conversation can begin to open your eyes to the way society also represses mens sexuality. "Every time we liberate a woman we liberate a man." - Margaret Mead

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