Now for most of us it is not by choice, but April is going to be the first official month of quarantine and social distancing which means no physical contact with another person. Unless of course you live with your significant other which musssttt be niceeee. I want to explore the potential benefits we can hope to experience by coming at this with the proper mindset. Abstinence can either be described as abstaining from intercourse, for reasons usually pertaining to pregnancy risk (for male or female), or can be described as abstaining from sexual contact with another person of any sex.
Abstinence is a time for going inward, it's a time to learn about yourself and if you have a partner it's a time to learn more about them in nonsexual or rather non physical sexual ways perhaps. Some of the benefits one might experience during a period of abstinence are:
1. A stronger connection to self:
i.e. deeper, more powerful masterbation experiences or if you're deciding to abstain from that too, a deeper connection to self. This time alone gives us the opportunity to learn even more about our selves and what we like and don't like. I know for my self it has led to exploration, not always reaching for the same toys (a toy at all) I usually use, slowing down and trying new things etc. It is a time to learn about yourself.
2. Illumination of core belief patterns:
That which comes with not getting what you want: This will awaken the ego, it will bring up all the deep limiting beliefs we have, you'll know them when they come up because you can immediately, hopefully recognize you don't actually believe them, but they hurt to think about. Things like people don't love you or you're unworthy of the same things you think those you love are deserving of. These small quiet thoughts that pass through our mind during this time of social isolation can be frustrating but they allow us the time to wade through them with compassion.
3. New learnings:
When we aren't stimulated in a relationship physically it allows room for emotional exploration, learning about another person and also what other ways you can experience intimacy. It creates a space for imagination and creativity when you are working with a partner to show them you care.
4. No more Coping:
If sexual activity is emotionally or mentally a coping mechanism here will be a time that you no longer have access to this stimulation and you will be forced into experiencing the things you avoid or require coping mechanisms from. Coping is not necessarily a bad thing but if you notice whenever you feel self-conscious, for example, you're more likely to initiate sex to validate yourself that is a perfect time to get to the bottom of why you're self-conscious and start to work on those deeper emotional issues.
5. Building the Aura:
Our auras are intricate and delicate in a sense, those who enter into our spaces influence our energy and even more so those who we open ourselves up to sexually or emotionally. People who we interact with on intimate levels influence our energetic body. While we are in social isolation we can be healing our auras, learning how we feel without the influence of those around us, it's a great time to become more energetically aware of our body's natural ability to feel if someone is right for us.
Abstaining for men can lead to so much more energy because men are more likely to exhaust their energy upon ejaculation now is a great time to learn the benefits of semen retention and energy protection. It is a fairly quickly learned process based on those I've spoken to about it and it is a practice one should learn alone before attempting with a partner. This is a great article on semen retention. Or check out my blog post for more links and tips.
Happy abstaining. Comment down below some of the ways you have found this time challenging or if you have enjoyed the forced introspection.
Thanks for reading.