I have in the past, either through other peoples direct judgments or my own internal struggle with my goals in life found guilt in doing something simply for enjoyments sake. We are allowed to play, I urge you to find play at least daily, until it is a thoughtfully cultivated habit.
I recently heard someone talking about video games and men who play video games, how it's such a waste of time, those men are a waste of time in extension. This type of talk is when I find myself being judgemental, I was telling someone yesterday that I am judgmental of people who are judgmental, this is the perfect example. I'm not saying it's okay to be judgmental in my case but I do find it slightly ironic haha.
Sometimes you have to let go of the picture you have in your mind of how your life is supposed to look and find joy in the day you're in. I think when we get caught up in the grind, the goals and the productivity culture we forget that joy is the whole point of living... joy and contribution. If you do not allow yourself the time to play and have hobbies you will find yourself quite uninspired.
For some the joy might be found in video games, for others it may be found in dancing or crafting. We all have those things we think back on our whole life and can remember always loving that activity. If you don't even remember something than it's time to find some exploration if your life. In the same way you'd need to get to know someone new in your life you need to get to know yourself.
When you do find that thing, for me it's being crafty, you may come to a few road blocks.
1. The idea that you need to monetize that hobby
2. The idea that you need to have some reason other than you enjoy it to make it. (this ones for my friends birthday etc)
3. You should only do these things as rewards after being productive.
Let me tell you, only allowing yourself to experience happiness because you've accomplished something creates such a strong connection between your productivity and your ability to experience joy.
We need to create strong pillars that stand alone in our lives. I mean strong hobbies that we are happy to indulge in despite every other aspect of our lives. Strong intellectual stimuli, relationships, career, creative, spiritual. Of course it is lovely when these things intersect but we also need to create strong foundations that don't rely on other people or outcomes.
Basically bitch, do what you love, and love what you do. And don't let anyone make you feel guilty about liking the things that you like, unless you know it's damaging to humans, animals or the environment lol
Have a lovely day xoxo